We all live in a yellow submarine!

I saw a funny little sculpture today. It is an middle aged woman, looking tired..shopping bags around her feet. There is a sign on one of her bags that reads, "Put your big girl panties on and deal with it". Hmf...interesting. I laughed, then filed it away in the things I need to do sometimes.

I talked with James last night. We didn't talk about anything from the past as it were, just a general conversation. That's good though, as I told him in my email to him that I didn't want to hash this out over and over. I was a little suprised that he didn't call me until nearly 9, slightly (and I do mean slightly) peeved that he sounded as if he were on something (later in the conversation he confessed that he now nearly doubles his nightly dosage of his Trizedone (spelling?) because he has built a tolerance to it and it makes him extremely zoned), and sad for him when he went on to say he couldn't hardly stand to sleep in his own bed because it was lonely there and big--he preferred the smallness of the sofa. A surface diagnosis of him (yes, I've the heart of a counselor) is that he's worse for wear..he is actually more vulnerable sounding (and appears to be acting as well) than he was before. Is this possible? Can he be more nervy and neurotic than he used to be? Yikes. I suppose in all the whining I've done about how things have changed, I've not thought about how HE has changed himself. While I may miss the friendship, overall I'm happier than I have been in at least 5 years. I love my job, I have moved on and made plans for my education by getting on and down with it, I've volunteered, gotten out there and been part of the solution to problems instead of part of them, I've met knew people who are interesting, intelligent and also making differences in peoples lives.

I made the comment to my sister last night when telling her all this, I said "He's got way too many issues, I can't even being to help him"...wow what a change. I can't/won't even attempt to problem solve for him as I've been guilty of in the past. His issues are so much bigger than me, him--he needs help, he really does. Self medicating with the Trizadone is GP prescribed is not helping matters, only making them worse and probably making him dependent on a sleep aid at the same time. Oy vey.